Help Me, Professor Kokonoe!

"Greetings lost children. I am Professor Kokonoe, genius scientist and ruler of the Sector Seven laboratory. ... Well, OK, we aren't in the lab at the moment. This place can sort of be temporarily moved into the Boundary. Well, simply put, it's a mysterious room. A room where you can do anything you want. To be honest, it's a paradise for all those sad, little lost children who couldn't make it to the true ending. A sort of Avalon. If you're one of those nutbars who's all "I don't need help" or "I only want to unlock hidden stuff" or "I'll just look for a flowchart online," then you can piss off... Very well. Lost child of the day. You may enter."

- Professor Kokonoe, in the opening scene

"Help Me Professor Kokonoe!" is a new omake (like Teach Me, Miss Litchi) in BlazBlue: Continuum Shift where Kokonoe gives advice to the playable characters so they can reach their true ending. These episodes are revealed when the playable characters have a bad ending.

"Help Me Professor Kokonoe!" is very much like "Teach Me, Miss Litchi" in that it bears seemingly as much humor as sensibly possible. Kokonoe indirectly breaks the fourth wall frequently, particularly during Lambda's segment, where she attempts to wrap up the show almost immediately on the grounds that she controls Lambda anyway. When Tager disputes this, she screams "What was that!? I don't think your friends on the other side of the monitor can hear you!" For some of the later segments, Kokonoe starts by claiming the show is a love clinic rather than a counseling room for assisting characters in reaching the proper ending to their story lines. Response to this by the characters is often awkward and humorous.

Episodes

 * Ragna: In Ragna's segment, he remembers a black mist engulfing Kagutsuchi as Kokonoe then tells him he not only destroyed Kagutsuchi, but also destroyed the entire planet (and can't be sold) and failed. Then, both of them are arguing about Kokonoe's atitude being so straightforward. Kokonoe advises him to pay more attention to the warnings that come from others, like Rachel and Jubei, and to not rely on the dark powers of the Azure so much. Since he will forget what happened in this segment and her advice, Kokonoe assures him that his "big friend" on the other side of the monitor will remember for him.
 * Jin Kisaragi: Out of the entire episodes, Jin's the only one who refuses to listen to Kokonoe's advise despite her warnings of not getting out her place if he kills her. Fed up of Jin's atitude and freezing her once, she throws Ragna into the fray, causing Jin to refocus his attacks on him, much to Ragna's dismay. After that, Ragna begs Kokonoe to gives Jin some advice since he "has enough for today". Also, when he first speaks, Kokonoe says "And stop speaking like Hakumen!" (apparently due to the fact Jin and Hakumen are thought to be one and the same).
 * Noel: After Noel's poem Segment, Noel is upset that she gets a bad ending and being commented by Kokonoe that her poem's bad. To cheer her up, Kokonoe says she feels sorry for her because even though she is the heroine, she will die if she makes one wrong choice, leading Noel to ask Kokonoe what's the chance of her living in the story, but Kokonoe responds impossible. Her advice is to listen to Jubei's advice in the story in order to progress. Noel then notices that both of them are friends, since both of their breast are flat, and that they share a special bond, which makes Kokonoe angry, and hits her out of the lab.
 * Rachel: At the beginning of the show, Rachel makes the room smell like roses, something that Kokonoe complains about. Once Kokonoe was already fed up about her aristocratic atitude, Rachel calls out Valkenhayn (and later Nago and Gii), and out of the blue he appears, making Kokonoe wonder how he manages to get in her lab in the first place. Kokonoe then gives her some advice that Rachel should be nicer, since her attitude is more onto the "mean on the outside and nice on the inside". But Rachel tells her that she's not in a position to give her advice to her on kindness since both of them are 100% mean, which both of them deny, making Tager and Gii assume it's a scary taught if they're nice.
 * Taokaka: Taokaka comes to her lab and ask her for some advice with the help of Mr.I-Love-To-Skip from Blazblue Radio in order for her to get the true ending. Kokonoe's advise is that she should stick close to Ragna since she has a tendency to forget. After that, Taokaka notices the silvervine candy Kokonoe's holding and Kokonoe gives it to her. However, the side effect on Taokaka is she talks normally and smarter, making Kokonoe assuming she's trying to change her atitude (although Taokaka retains her obsessive fascination with breasts). The effect doesn't last long as smoke comes out from her head and she returns back to normal. After she leaves, knowing that silvervine candy was so dangerous to the Kaka clan, Kokonoe decides to destory it.
 * Tager: Unlike the other episodes, Kokonoe decides to be nice and perky for this episode, since she worries that the viewers would get bored at the same thing over and over again. She retains her manners until Tager raises the "Izayoi" topic. After giving Tager some advice about making his own decision and Tager left her place, Kokonoe tells the viewers that it's the end of the episode and she is going to scold someone.
 * Litchi: Kokonoe is relieved to see her since all of the people who enter her place are "verified nutbar" and are wasting her time. After Litchi brings her cake, Kokonoe seems flustered, and replies that "she brought her something special, so she's got something special in her pants for her" recieveing an immediate reply from Litchi not to say easily misunderstood things like that. After the advice part is over, Litchi and Kokonoe play out a run at home-shopping channel on TV, selling an Arakunedroid (a.k.a Irresistable Arakune) on special discount. Sadly, the android turns out to be a failure, since the android's attitude is way off and not like the original. After ditching the robot, Kokonoe gives Litchi some advice to calm down before she makes any rash decisions, but Litchi sternly says that Kokonoe is the one who against her decision. Kokonoe, at a loss for words or even an explanation, remarks that she's also a robot and walks off screen, forcing Litchi to end the episode herself.
 * Arakune: Since the ending ended on such a high note, Arakune becomes "The Irresistable Arakune", since it's much easier for Kokonoe to deal with. Kokonoe noted that whenever a player sees him, they start "shitting bricks" the moment he shows up in the match (due to his insane combo hits). Kokonoe advice is to not meet Litchi, since "Her boobs spell death for him". When Kokonoe brings up the subject that he acted so cool in front of Litchi, he reverts back to his normal self. After he leaves, Kokonoe was almost attracted to the "Irresistable Arakune" but then noticed the mess he made when he leaves. She then calls in Tager, dressed as a maid, to clean up the substance left by Arakune. Taking this time to test out an experiemental function, Kokonoe turns Tager into a vacuum cleaner and cleans up the mess, and was thinking of selling the idea to people.
 * Bang Shishigami: Due to Bang's loud entry, Kokonoe shows him the exit without giving him advice, due to the fact she just met him, and he acted like some kissass and Bang nearly making a statement that he's trying to make-out with Kokonoe like some ladies' man. Kokonoe advises him not to kill Jin since doing that will bring the Black Beast back to life. She even expected it from a ninja like him, since he attacks Jin when he was injured badly. Before the show ends, Kokonoe advises him not to come back to her lab, or she'll give Ronin-gai a bunch of Western foods to him.
 * Carl Clover: When Kokonoe says that Carl's life is crap, he denies this... but when he speaks to Ada Clover (which Kokonoe called Nirvana), she argees with her. Also, Carl says "I think I'm having Deja Vu" when Kokonoe asks him to mimic Rachel Alucard (which he had already done in "Teach me, Miss Litchi!"). Somehow, Kokonoe understood what Nirvana says with all the "dot dot dot".
 * Hakumen: Hakumen was shocked to see himself back in her lab, as he does not want to be there. Due to his attitude, Kokonoe abuses him by advising him to have more calcium, drink some milk and eat fish, and even mocking him of his wrong decision. As Hakumen leaves her lab angrily, and promises he won't come back, Kokonoe attempts to modify him when he does comes back, due his attitude ruining this gag routine. However, he comes back knowing he heard her say it, but leaves when Kokonoe denies it.
 * Lambda-11: Slacking, Kokonoe decides to end the episode, until Tager stops her since she can't just cut corners and not even give Lambda any advice even though Kokonoe controls her. Kokonoe keeps avoiding the subject as far as breaking the fourth wall. Giving up, Kokonoe tells Lambda to entrust her decision and leaves, making Tager end the show for her.
 * Tsubaki: After Tsubaki's Report segment, Kokonoe was amazed that she's a lively one, and wonders if any of her NOL members are like her. Kokonoe's advice to her is to not to abuse using the Izayoi. Tsubaki quickly changes her outfit into her battle outfit, making both of them break the fourth wall saying that there's no transformation sequence and the scene has to be cut. Kokonoe goes silent as it was too easy since people who show up in her place wasted her time. To do so, Kokonoe decides to reveal parts of her profile. Tsubaki tells her "no Order-Sol jokes" when Kokonoe commented of her Install Drive. Kokonoe was surprised that she likes historical drama, and even commented that most of her moves are based on historical drama, such as saying "In the name of the law" or "Your Judgement has come". Tsubaki tries to block her mind from not hearing what Kokonoe says, proving it's true. Tsubaki asks if this makes her a weirdo, but Kokonoe says it doesn't. To end the episode, she asks Tsubaki to say her catchphrase. When the curtain comes down, it turns out that Kokonoe lies, saying that Tsubaki is a weirdo after all.
 * Hazama: Hazama shows up in his high and arrogant entrance, only to be ignored and end the show quickly by Kokonoe. Hazama stops her from doing it, making Kokonoe resume the episode, telling him that her lab isn't for fighting and jackasses like him should know about it, going as far mocking of him of not seeing his "green-ass". Fed up with Kokonoe's trolling towards him, he threatens her, but she threatens him back: if he says that again she will "fill all his holes with her special candy". Knowing that both of them don't want Hazama to be in her lab, they ceasefire and Kokonoe gives him advice on how to defeat Ragna, since he's a boss character and the game should be harder. After he leaves, Hazama gives a sly remark of her and her lab, making Kokonoe snap hearing it. She turns off the lights, and attacks Hazama with some sort of device that "will send him to the other edge of the boundary", ending the show.