Gag scenario

Gag scenarios (ギャグシナリオ) are part of the Story Mode that first appear in BlazBlue: Continuum Shift. Gags are (mostly?) non-canon side stories where usually a series of funny events take place. There are two types of gag scenarios: one-shots which don’t have sequels in later games, and running gags which get more scenarios in games. Although BlazBlue: Calamity Trigger does have gag endings, they are not specifically labeled as gag scenarios.

Note: BB:CP EXTEND adds an entire set of gag reels not present in Chronophantasma. Please put the gag scenarios under the tab of the version of the game they were introduced in.

BlazBlue: Continuum Shift (Extended)=

Ragna’s gag scenario
Ragna wakes up on a boat, and screams in terror as he finds out he has died and turned into a ghost. Rachel, Tager, and Nu are with him on the boat and are also ghosts. Upon finding this out Ragna becomes even more transparent because of his fear of ghosts. They run into another boat, the HMS Nirvana, lowly tuna fishing vessel with the ghosts of Jin, Hazama, Carl, Arakune (as the boat’s sail) and Nirvana (at the head of the boat) on board. Ragna is then swapped with the precious treasure the Red Grimoire the natural ruby of the deep, also known as the Ikaruga Tuna aboard the HMS Nirvana, lowly tuna fishing vessel. Ragna then wakes up to find that all of it was a dream.

Jin’s gag scenario
Jin finds himself on a tropical island, which turns out to be alive and is able to talk. It introduces itself as the Ranking Island and starts ranking things from Jin’s mind, with things already ranked being disposed of. Ragna eventually appeared in these rankings, causing Jin to force the island to keep the three materializations of Ragna and battle them for eternity, which made the island to become known as Big Brother Island.

Noel’s gag scenario
Noel, along with Carl and Bang, got quite hungry during the battle, and Noel suggested a Chinese restaurant that is known for its signature dish, the Kagutsuchi puffer fish simmered in peppers and spices. However, it turned out that the restaurant had just been stormed by a Mechakaka, and the head chef had broken all his limbs by slipping on a peking duck. Noel decides to take over and cook meals for everyone, and Carl, who due to his past experiences with Noel’s cooking, volunteered to be a waiter. He announced to the customers that the Kagutsuchi puffer fish is the only available dish today, and everyone decided to stay and try it. Carl served Noel’s cooking, the Death Dinner to all off the customers, and after taking a single bite they all start vomiting and become extremely ill, in some cases they even appear dead. For reasons unknown, Hazama is the only one who enjoys the dish.

Rachel’s gag scenario
Rachel finds Ragna at a restaurant and puts the Popularity Glasses on him. Luna, who was with Ragna, starts exclaiming her love for him. Litchi, Kokonoe and Noel then burst into the restaurant all looking for Ragna. Litchi tries to give Ragna a love potion, but Noel hits it away. Kokonoe then tries to give a candy to Ragna, and Litchi smashes it, recognizing that there is a sleeping pill inside of it. Noel then exclaims that Ragna is her husband and she officially registered their marriage. Then Makoto, Lambda and Nirvana come in, also looking for Ragna. Makoto says that Ragna is hot, while Lambda initiates her expression of love file, they then both proceed to jump on Ragna. While this is happening, Nirvana destroys Noel’s marriage registration and blows up the city hall so she cannot submit her duplicate ones. To end it all Jin comes into the restaurant looking at Ragna with heart-shaped eyes, and then pulls out Yukianesa. Rachel, predicting disaster, jumps out of the restaurant as an explosion happens inside. Rachel then sees the Popularity Glasses lying on the ground, and puts them on, wondering why they did not affect her.

Arakune’s gag scenario
Arakune wakes up in a weapon shop run by Jin. Jin gives Arakune a blade that transmutes toxic waste (like Arakune) into safely disposable materials, (read: here's a blade to off yourself with,) but Arakune has no money on his person, prompting Jin to attack him. However, Litchi shows up and pays for the blade. She subsequently runs away crying from the combined assholery of Jin and Arakune. Mere seconds afterwards, Platinum the Trinity enters the shop. They're seeking a weapon to kill Prince Hazama with, as the man has cursed so that they must never remain in debt to anyone, otherwise their cholesterol while skyrocket and give them a heart attack. (Finish later)

Tsubaki’s gag scenario
Tsubaki hearing a distraught woman decides to find out what is happening. She locates the woman in a restaurant but upon entering slips up on a peking duck. The distraught woman, in fact a very drunk Litchi, starts crying that her precious peking duck has been ruined and that Tsubaki must make it up to her. Tsubaki saying that she will make it up is then grabbed by a very suddenly happy Litchi. She takes Tsubaki back to her house and as payment gets Tsubaki to cosplay for her. Tsubaki then realizes that there is a panda in Litchi’s hair exclaiming that she hates pandas. Litchi then gives her a revealing maid outfit to wear saying it is battle armor to combat the panda. Litchi then pretends that Lao Jiu has taken control of her and that it will do terrible things to her if Tsubaki does not obey her, telling her to clean Litchi’s house and do her laundry. All the while Lao Jiu is actually pouring sake into Litchi.

Hazama’s gag scenario
This summary needs to be cleaned up Hazama decides to do some Phenomena Intervention... after refreshing himself with a bath. But after warping down to Lost Town, he decides he no longer feels like it. As he turns to leave, he is grappled by Taokaka, who, along with two kittens, attempts to eat him. Pissed off, Terumi surfaces and retaliates. However, Tao and the kittens creep him out enough to make him take a step back... into Jubei. Of course Jubei wants to kill Terumi... after he smells Terumi. (Yes, you read that correctly.) Baffled, Terumi lets what's left of his guard down, allowing Tao to join in on the molestation. Then Kokonoe shows up, brandishing her claws in short order. As she approaches Hazama, (Terumi bailed out,) his cat allergies kick in. At some point, EVERY CAT IN KAGUTSUCHI shows up, much to Hazama's horror. Kokonoe proposes that they release Hazama, with whoever recaptures him being able to have their way with Hazama, whatever that way may be. Afraid and confused, Hazama is forced to play along, his screams of terror and agony resonating throughout Kagutsuchi. The scene then shifts back to Hazama's office, where we see a bottle of catnip-scented body wash.

Makoto's gag scenario
needs editing

Valkenhyn's gag scenario
needs description

Platinum's gag scenario
needs description

Relius's gag scenario
Relius Clover receives orders from the Imperator "to research the purity of souls." Teleporting to Kokonoe's lab, the two initiate an experiment to test compatibility between body and soul by swapping the souls of others. The first trial has them swapping Ragna and Jin, to their horror/excitement respectively. Reasoning that a non-human soul would wield better results, Trial 2 swaps Makoto with Jin (who's still in Ragna's body). In his despair, Jin reasons that the only way he can have Ragna is by killing his body, which Ragna (in Jin's body) tries to stop. This trial actually wields lower results, so trial 3 consists of swapping Hazama and Taokaka. This test actually wields better results on Hazama's end. For the last trial, the victims are Rachel and Bang, which lead Rachael (in Bang's body) to attempt suicide out of shame. Satisfied with the results, but not in his search for knowledge, Relius leaves without putting the victims of his experiment back into their proper forms.

Trivia
BlazBlue: Chronophantasma=
 * Hakumen does not have a gag scenario.
 * Lambda’s gag scenario is more of a cute little side story.
 * This scene is also featured in BlazBlue: Alter Memory although being quite different.
 * Some gag scenarios do not have special images.
 * Arakune’s gag scenario is the only one to have a fight in it, however the outcome is the same win or lose.

BlazBlue: Centralfiction=

The Spectacles of Eros: The Finale!
Rachel Alucard finds Ragna in a restaurant and slaps the Popularity Glasses on him. After explaining, or rather having Valkenhayn explain, how the glasses work, Kagura and Beautiful!Arakune show up out of nowhere and initiate the "Spectacles of Eros Deathmatch!!" To kick things off, the dolls enter the arena. All three of them are KO'ed by Es, who is outed by the Murakumo Sisters, who are all DESTROYED by Taokaka. Due to the sheer amount of contestants, the whole "deathmatch" premise is dropped in favor of a cooking tournament. Which leads to this.

And here's what happened: Tao finishes her dish first, but trips and spills it on Ragna; Bullet kills a giant bird and is eaten by its mother, disqualifying her; Nine, Trinity, and Kokonoe make weird and likely inedible dishes, and eventually engage each other in spoon combat (it makes sense in context); Litchi, Tsubaki, and Makoto are on the floor, slowly dying. Turns out the drinking water was spiked with Death Dinner, which Mai confirms. Noel swears she wouldn't do such a thing, which is true, because Izanami did it. Apparently, Izanami puts the same amount of passion and lethallity into her cooking as Noel, much to Mai's delight. The spear wielder proceeds to devour both of their meals, disqualifying the two. Speaking of Mai, she didn't make anything, much to Kagura's confusion. Rachel reappears and explains that Mai's concept of love isn't completely formed, and as a result her love for food overpowered her love for Ragna. In any case, Celica is the only contestant left, making her the victor by default. Celica says she'd technically be the true winner anyway, as the Popularity Glasses didn't affect her, meaning she truly loves Ragna. Just as Rachel, who is also not affected by the glasses's power, is about to go mad from revelation, the chemical reaction of Noel and Izanami's cooking causes a massive explosion, engulfing the restaurant and everyone in it (especially poor Mai.)